Staff Roasts (Bios)

• Gareth Aston; previously the web manager, Gareth has a great relationship with technology, provided it does exactly what he wants and was made before 2003. When unable to find the answers on Google, he has been known to apply such forward thinking ideas as taking a piece of 3 by 2 to a computer.

Come to think of it, was he ever really the best choice for dealing with the website? Probably not, hence why he settled in to the role of V12 Lord Commander so well. The guy paraglides when the weather allows, rock climbs when the wind picks up, and then runs when the rain follows.. but that is mostly because half of North Wales relies on him to fix their leaky roofs if they catch him!

• Jack Rattenbury; clocking more hours a week than most do in a month, Jack lives and breathes V12 Outdoor. Putting most of life's major milestones on hold until this season's forward orders are in; a martyr to the cause.

Jack has seen the furniture come and go, outlasting it all with an unyielding level of pessimism. The man has great product knowledge and can tell you anything you want to know about bouldering in and around the area, whether you like it or not. Clear your afternoon because if you ask this man a question about rock shoes you are in for a brief history of that brand's entire production process and ethos..

He has been known to tie on to a rope but these days would rather be teeing off. Deliberation is his game; currently deciding whether to pump iron or swing irons. With twins on the way he should probably sack off both and do the ironing!

• Will Eccles; Assistant to the Regional Manager. If V12 required an in-house model Will would be the obvious and only choice; rugged good looks, charisma, strength, intelligence and humility. Will performs a plethora of important jobs to help keep V12 running smooth. Provided none involve the processing of online orders.

Amongst those jobs, the vital task of ensuring the staff bios are up to date and impartial. A task he has excelled in.. just fantastic work, Will! Relevant hobbies include running, cycling, hillwalking, photography, and surfing.

• Bertie Bennett; Bertie comes from the land down under, well the west country, anyway! He is the proud owner of a spectacular beard and all the equipment one could need to do anything with an 'ing' in it. Slacklining, rock climbing, surfing and longboarding are all skills this swiss army man possesses- but if we are being completely honest you will likely have to ask him about them at his allotment.

The enthusiasm of youth has left this one, but a real dynamo when you get him out of his slippers. If you’re ever lucky enough to be in the shop when he isn’t on his lunch (and the odds are stacked against you) he offers unparalleled customer care and is a delight to deal with! Bertie is the quintessential gear freak. From working loads to cord diameter; down fill power to hardshell breathability Bertie applies it all to memory.

With so much brain power given over to the world of outdoor equipment it is no wonder really that he has nothing left to spellcheck his emails. Looks good in a hat though.

• Rich Hession; a.k.a the Oracle (self titled), the Scouse, the Cat Whisperer, the Closet Carnivore. If Rich doesn’t know the trade, recommended retail and V12 discounted price of a product then you do not need that product. Rich is so unbelievably work orientated that he often takes his lunch nearer to most people’s dinner times to ensure your parcels are dispatched at lightning speed. He doesn't half let us all know about it though!

If this wasn’t enough, Rich has also bouldered to a higher grade than that which the shop is named - much to Gareth’s dismay. For a moment we considered renaming the shop but the projected cost of replacing branded pens, tees and carabiners would have undoubtedly bankrupted us. "It would be cheaper to fire him." Gareth Aston, 2023.

• Gemma Redacted; what could one say about Gemma that won't come across as public ridicule? A seemingly impossible task but lets give it a go.. What she lacks in basic nutrition and the ability to perform her duties without us questioning everything we know about the inner workings of the human mind, she makes up for in the psyche of youth and an almost shameful gear knowledge. She has been known to correct brand reps. Out with the old and in with the new, Bertie!

One finger on the pulse and most of the others on our social media accounts; she produces a flurry of low quality, sporadic content that is, at least, somewhat relevant. We will continue to appreciate the hard work of our young alpinist when she blows in from a mountaineering exped.

• Teifryn Livingston; now.. what could one say about Teifryn that will come across as public ridicule? Get comfortable. Hiring Teifryn falls somewhere between a lapse in judgement and a colossal blunder for V12. His cheeky charm and lackadaisical approach border on disciplinable conduct. For better or worse, Teifryn is unflappable, sometimes horizontal, but always level-headed.

We would not say Teifryn lives for the mountains, but he certainly moiders as though he does. The man loves a good scramble, is fully committed to his Lattice training program, and runs like he's never ran before. Sadly, he will probably leave us to finish his paramedic training but until then he will provide you excellent advice on shoe fitting and crag wear- the what to wear and what not to be caught dead in.

He knows all the best routes up your choice of Mynyddau and Moels. Where might be in condition despite wind, rain or threat of snow? He has the local knowledge!

• Janet; The human calculator. An enigma. Is Janet even her real name? Does she have a surname or is it just Janet? Like Bono.. or Adele.. or Batman. When not working she can often be found out on the pull; that would be the local Himalayan Balsam, of course. Totally google-proof and integral to the company, Janet keeps us on the straight and narrow. Watching the margins, keeping the lights on and paying our wages. Hooray for Janet!